I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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