You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Randomize
