let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
