I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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