What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize