She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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