His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
