So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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