Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Randomize
