i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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