Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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