10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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