Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
