I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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