Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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