Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
You need Xanax blowdarts
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Randomize
