just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
