no, he came in my armpit
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
