i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
