toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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