i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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