let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
