Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
