is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
