you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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