PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Ladies don't puke and tell
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Randomize
