I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
