I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Slut skills are useful in every country.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Randomize
