They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize