i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
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