Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Randomize
