is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Randomize
