after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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