i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
