I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
