Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize
