Have you finally orgasmed yet?
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
