It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
