I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
