She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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