Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
