I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
