I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
