so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
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Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
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I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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