More tranny stories later!
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
