Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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