I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
This couple is walking their pig around campus
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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