found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Randomize
