I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
