dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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