if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
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