i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
