Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
