is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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