Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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