did you get engaged???
just tell him i said nine months
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
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I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize