i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
