Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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