Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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