Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
