So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
