I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
