So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize