This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
