We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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