Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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